当你孤单你会想起谁

你想不想找个人来陪

你的快乐伤悲 只有我能体会

让我再陪你走一回

i was thinking about something the past few days, and my head keeps finding excuses to say, yes its ok to be what i want it to be, and yet today in church, i learnt something so relevant. and it gave me a definite answer to what has been troubling me, and the answer is no, any more i try to push, im going down a slippery slope. im quite upset that it has to be this way, but thinking rationally and practically, it does make sense. i guess i wont put pressure or do anything much now but slowly deal with the hard truth. :((

funny how often we gravitate, oscillate in one big circle and end up where we started. i think of what went wrong, how did we get back to square one. it gets tiring and seems pointless, but i guess it's the experiences which make it worth it.

can't stop replaying certain scenes in my mind. i miss those times. and then i think of the "anti-thesis" to those scenes, great, i can't think of a suitable word, and i heave a deeeeeeeeep sighhh. what happened to the pact to ban sighing? oh gosh, it's 2am i feel so ~unstable~. why am i in a perpetual state of self-pity. why do motivational talks not work for me. why do i know i got to change but can't be bothered to. why am i ending my questions with fullstops.

life's tough, how many times have i repeated that?

what i really need now is a ___[insert suitable thing]___.