ok so my christmas cards are wayyyyy late because i only did them on christmas day itself but that's when things get authentic no? anyway merry christmas and happy holidays guys~ i still have some cards extra because i dont know if should waste them giving to people who dont appreciate them hahaha.



yesterday i finally dyed my hair blueblack! i should change my sidebar profile thing now haha. but now my hair just looks jet black. not complaining though, i kinda like this total black thing even in the sun /emo.

and i baked cake balls. oh gosh, mother of all problems, this baking experience. pun fully intended.

ok so basically im a klutz AND moron in baking. turned the oven on and tripped the house's electricity. put plastic bag into the oven when its still hot and it melted. chocolate dripped every where. strawberry batter overflowed and dripped all over the oven. yadda yadda yadda. and my mom sure was pissed sighs. i would say it would be better if she doesnt watch what i do but i would probably burn the kitchen down. but oh man, baking with her had zero mother-daughter bonding but instead so much pressure. in fact it was more of daughter-piss-mother off. if there were such a reality baking show, i would win.

anyway my cake balls turn out nice so dont discredit me. no one dares to eat them in my family though shrugs; which brings me to spat-with-mother #2. mom made a comment about not daring to eat them and i got pissed so i told her then dont eat which was totally rude of me. apparently she's been tolerating my shit for long so she burst this morning. sighs why do i have no EQ.

anyway ive been so snappy to my family apparently though i thought im doing a damn fine job at being a good daughter. turns out wrong. so here's 2012 resolution number 1: Be a better Esther. i dont even know how to. When i dont retort, it's like i cant be bothered with them, though i just dont want to aggravate matters. when i retort, that's plain rude. when i have no opinion, i have no character and uninvolved. when i have an opinion, i am selfish. what do i do, is there a book on this or something? like How to manage tricky situations and answer trick questions or something?

living here is like some battlefield. or radioactive decay. dont know who will erupt when, and dont even need anything to trigger it. sighs, and it's so hard to find someone who understands.

Anyway!!! here are my chocolate coated strawberry cake balls.
i shall name them Yinballs, in honor of Yinhui, who loves strawberries.