mmm the smell of rain at 1.08am.

i've been having the most erratic sleeping patterns - fall asleep at 4+ 5am, waking up at 12/1pm. and it makes me feel so guilty that my whole morning is gone. and the next day i try to wake up earlier by setting the alarm but i just turn it off. i dont even snooze it because i know it will ring soon.

just started raining heavier.

oh today my friend asked me to go for some briefing on job opportunities and i thought "why not" but it turned out to be one of those network marketing crap. not gonna be harsh or anything but i dont exactly buy into the idea of me being a sales promoter. and the people there were like "OF COURSE YOU ARENT YET!" in this confident and persuasive tone and mentally im like oh shiiiiiit momma's gonna be not pleased if she knows im doing this. but i've promised my friend i'll go for monday's "Training" as they call it which i think is getting to know the products better. please pray that i dont get easily swayed and conned. STAND FIRM ESTHER!!

then after the briefing which was more of a lecture because it was like 2 hours, a super persuasive "sales executive" or some "high rank" woman came to talk to me (they had all these ranks and professional sounding names) and she kept touching my hand. its the we-connect thing i think they think that makes people feel comfortable and more at ease but all i did was ~shifty eyes~ ~slurp my barley~ ~move hands away~. oh and they were saying there were many people about 20+ years old getting BMWs and Mercs and i was like "wow so how about you? how old are you?" because she looked 40+ to me. then she asked me to guess and I HATE GUESSING GAMES, DONT THEY JUST EMBARRASS AT LEAST ONE PARTY (elaboration below)? so i said "uhm.. 30?", while thinking i cant go too wrong if i shave off 10 years of age. and HER FACE FELL. oh shit esther made a bad boohoo. then i quickly said "uhm 25? 26?" and gave the best smile seriously. i now understand how guys feel when they tell girls they look pretty when they dont. then she smiled a little and said "ya la around there, 27 :) " and i still had my most convincing smile plastered on my face, and deep down i was like patting myself on the back; thank goodness i didnt say 40+.

ok off to close my windows, the rain is coming in.

sidenote: i never get guessing games on things which are deemed "sensitive". i mean, if you were so particular about it, dont embarrass yourself by asking and finding out the hard truth. unless you want to hear lies. but pick the right person, not me ok!! i dont exactly know when to flatter someone especially when i barely know you. i dont like it when acquaintances ask me "am i fat??", "do i look that old??!!", "guess my age!!", because either 1. i tell you something you dont wanna hear and i become the bitch, or 2. you are thin/ pretty/ young and you become the bitch for making other mortals feel inferior.

is it me or the phrase "guessing games" just remind me of indian poker? :/