it's like...

you don't want to have something else to worry about so you don't acknowledge it. you suppress it as much as possible, until one day you realise that you can't, that you care. and you put that into action - you try striking up conversations, to learn a little more. but you feel like you're being pushed away, you're insignificant. but you can't bear to watch x crumble. Who says im crumbling? You realise you have no right to do anything, you can't make things right. You start doing little things to maybe, elicit a smile instead. because when x smiles, you smile too. despite all the brief encounters, shitty days, crappy world, you just need that one thing to make everything alright. and because you pegged it to x, when x falls shorts, you die a little more inside. 

like today. though you may not know it, though it's not your fault, though i shouldn't be, it hurts :(