I think this is the first time i'm writing something like this, but here it goes.

i hope you will feel love radiating out of your computer when you read this, and know that life is not that black and bleak and representative of your soul. you may not know it but you are the sunshine in others' lives. others which include me. you're my sunshine :) i first apologise for the complete lack of visual elements, because attaching photos always screw up my formatting. so here you go, twenty-one things that we did together, enjoy, ashamed of, i like about you, whatever.

01/ secondary two. i think everything that happened then cemented our friendship.
like catching our group mate on tape arranging where to go shopping when she told us she had to go for some family-related thing (brother's birthday, grandfather's funeral, so many cant remember which), getting melanie - our very first blythe, going on doll photoshoots, designing our very own website, sewing felt clothing, and being damn active on the forum.

02/ secondary three, the year of the male teachers and hormonal girls.
no idea why there's suddenly an influx of male teachers in our school, turning even the fiercest of lesbians straight. ok i kid. but i remember how you gush so excitedly over melvin chng, ccc, deskeong, etc etc etc. and how can i forget... Z H B!! ok im just joking but its really funny thinking back how juvenile we all behaved. i enjoyed chinese lessons with you, petrina and baohui. we sat right in front and were like some disruptive force. the other class hated us. he always made us stand to read passages from a textbook with no hanyupinyin wtf.

03/ secondary four. anxiety came in the form of o levels.
dont think we studied together very often for o levels. but every other time, like graduation ceremony, dining etiquette course, prom, we were together. our clique was always together. i miss them all. we all came from a pretty random mix of classes, funny how we  ended up together. always fun with all of you; a rojak of personalities.

04/ going for conventions, cosplay events, halloween horror night, trick or treating, Discovering Ourselves.
dont think i wanna dig out photos of us in our scene/ goth/ kawaii/ ichigo/ boring/ sexy/ vampish phases. oh wait, did i just describe you at your recent birthday party?

05/ catalog, juice, kult, haji lane, ann siang hill. yong siak, hipster shit.
we are such pretentious pricks. sipping ice mocha in wood-smelling cafes and meowing at stray kittens. using our dianas and la sardina and taking photos through circle road mirrors. lomography. brb disgusted at level of act.

06/ emotive music speaking truths about our feelings.
will you still love me when i got nothing but my aching soul?

07/ lang leav;
an attempt to replicate her style, knowing how much you appreciate her work.

GONE
He turned
   and walked away
   further
   and further
   away

Goodbye
   Did I not ---
   Say.

08/ ok finally here it is POKKA GREEN TEA.
this is like the best drink on earth it is like our freaking drink!! going to your house is like going to PGT heaven.

09/ photoboothing non stop with your macbook. dont know how much unglamness is there in that apple. always fun playing with all the functions and acting so retarded with all your girly stuff like make up and clothes and hair curlers or bouffant builders.

10/ you always articulate the most beautiful poignant sincere thoughts on your blog and i really love your writing style. one day it can be pensive and broody, while the next, you're happy and its BIG AND BOLD AND LOUD AND EXPRESSIVE. youre a word chameleon. and datz awsm.

11/ Peter Adrian.
That sultry gaze, chiseled body, vlogs and live chats, perfectly coiffed hair, shirt+jeans combi. he never fails to entertain us ;)

12/ meeting all your boyfwenz. lol i dont even know what to say about this.
find one and settle down. i wanna be your bridesmaid. it's kinda funny that when this was said when we were younger, we wouldnt think much about it but now, it has come to the point where yes, it's a very real scenario and in the case that i get married, i would want you as my bridesmaid too.

13/ ZOUK
i think that is why they say opposites attract?

14/ Strength in Self.
youre like damn resourceful lah. thanks for all the help you have given me, like Laneway and London. sometimes people might think youre a bimbo but i know deep down it is a really smart, intellectual, strong woman. you're able to get things done well and efficiently. and even with all your issues whether family or personal, you deal with them in the most rational ways. you're able to stand up for yourself, and against bullies like the dude in London. you speak your mind and are not afraid of conflict/ opposition and i love this boldness in you. makes me feel all protected and safe hehe. i know i can always always depend on you.

15/ ANYWAY
let's commence on our project during the holidays. I can't wait to work with you, and together we will be great and carve out a name for ourselves and sell our awesome works at The Local People and other night markets at arty areas.

16/ you're seriously just the best company i can ever ask for.
from drinking fruit beer at the banks of clarke quay, to lying in yucheng(?)'s bed in london, making a mess off his bedroom and then freaking out upon realising the possibility of a hidden camera placed somewhere. from coloring heart shapes on semi-naked magazine men's nips, to studying at starbucks. from surprising me on my lonelybirthday back in hwachong, to just nuaing my day away in your abode. seeking comfort in your presence awwwwwwwww

17/ hairstyle chameleon.
Bangs, bob, side-swept, centre, pony tail, fish tail, braids, red, pink, blonde, chestnut, black...
you name it, you've done it. what a style chameleon you are, adventurous to try out a myriad of hairstyles that complement your evolving fashion sense.

18/ craaaazy cat lady.
i never understood your fetish for cats because i am just not a cat person. please get a dog instead. but yea its extra commitment man lol not gonna impose any of my ideas on you but i know a dog be one hell of a lucky bitch under your overflowing love for it.

19/ proactive.
thank goodness you are more extroverted than me and you love your sense of touch if not who is gonna initiate hugs hahahahhahaha *a w k w a r d & s t i f f*
hug you back, give you kiss too ;)

20/ holland village.
i love this place because it reminds me of you, our escapades to chip bee, the playground, your house, everything with fries. somehow it seems like this is the setting of our friendship. oh and perhaps also why we started our friendship on such a ;_; tone, on a fateful bus 970 cruising through this estate.

21/ i just dont really know who will go the extra mile for me, but you have proven that you will!
like when i was in europe and you shipped me a box full of goodies and magazines, and spent so much on shipping and while i can go on and on about how it wasnt necessary, im just so glad you did because it definitely brightened up my days. im so glad that im in your thoughts even though i may not be physically present. and you too, will always be in mine :)

ok this is bordering lesbonic but afterall, our relationship stemmed from a girls' school notorious for this right? ;) hope you enjoyed reading this and continue to remind yourself that you are awesome! don't forget, i will always be here for you ♥

happy 21st.